A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”· “He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr … Continue reading →
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. … Continue reading →
I went to the doctor for a physical. The nurse started with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asked. “150,” I said. The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 200. The nurse … Continue reading →
You may not qualify for senior citizen status yet (ACTUALLY – I DO qualify!) but I am sure you will agree with these statements xx YES, THIS IS US!! (maybe not all of you… but some of us) Senior citizens … Continue reading →
WHAT an excellent video this is!! This young lady is a star! The dancers are all most excellent!! Taylor Swift – Shake It Off Published on Aug 18, 2014 Taylor’s new release 1989 is Available Now featuring the hit single … Continue reading →
You’re a sick senior citizen and the government says they are going to sell your house to pay for your nursing care. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. … Continue reading →
A question that is often asked of someone with a new car is “What will it do?” The answer is usually something like “zero to 60 in 3.3 seconds,” or something along those lines. Well, here’s the brand new 2013 Ferrari … Continue reading →
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print … Continue reading →
An old gentleman lived alone in Kent. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old … Continue reading →
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Continue reading →2012 Summer Olympics You gotta chuckle here!! Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back: Weightlifting commentator: “This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her … Continue reading →
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they … Continue reading →
Ok – so you read it before – others may not have!! An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take … Continue reading →
Scared the shit outta everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome! Getting old is so much fun… Remember: Don’t make Old People mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much … Continue reading →
Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they watched the boss leave work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, … Continue reading →
(Disclaimer – I was sent this and it just made me chuckle! NO offense intended to any person, living or dead or thinking about either!) A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful and things went from … Continue reading →
Mastercard, Absolutely Priceless ….. CANCEL YOUR CREDIT CARD BEFORE YOU DIE ……. Reported in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle Recently: Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless; and it’s so easy to see happening … Continue reading →
An old man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of … Continue reading →
This may well be an old joke, but it certainly brought a smile to my face!! A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the … Continue reading →
As I walked down the busy pavement with my dear wife, knowing we were late for church, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, ragged vagabonds that are found in every city these days. Some people turned to stare. … Continue reading →
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a … Continue reading →
A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, He floored it to 100mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing!” he thought as … Continue reading →
I went to the doctor for a physical. The nurse started with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asked. “150,” I said. The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 200. The nurse … Continue reading →
Have you heard this lot before?? Probably, but they could still raise a chuckle…. These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now … Continue reading →
A plumber is called to the house of a lady owner to fix a pipe problem under the kitchen sink. “Oh hello – come in and I’ll show you where the problem is. Oh – don’t you mind Spike my … Continue reading →
Dog Diary Petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing! … Continue reading →
I’m sorry – I digress here. I have NO idea if there are any fans of the Compare the Meercat ads visiting this site, but this is an out–take set….Just for a bit of a laugh!!
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