I went to the doctor for a physical. The nurse started with certain basics.

“How much do you weigh?” she asked.
“150,” I said.
The nurse put me on the scale.

It turns out my weight is 200.

The nurse asked, “Your height?”
“6 foot 1,” I said.
The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5′ 11″

She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

“Of course it’s high!” I screamed, ‘When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”

She put me on Prozac.

What a bitch