Tech Support: ‘I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop. Customer: ‘OK.’ Tech Support: ‘Did you get a pop-up menu?’ Customer: ‘No.’ Tech Support: ‘OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?’ Customer: ‘No.’ Tech Support: ‘OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?’ Customer: ‘Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.’
Continue reading →I received an email from a friend of mine yesterday. I add it here for information and having looked online this looks like a genuine situation. How do these things get through and what about the folks who MAKE them?? Hmm! Does anyone else have information about this? Anyway – take a look and download the information PDF here. Dear All, This message is for general staff information. The NHS has issued a warning to consumers regarding a poisonous bracelet which has been sold at outlets across the UK (please see attached). The distinctive red and black bracelets are made … Continue reading →
When I joined Unicorn Courtesy Cars, the Weymouth based Chauffeured car Service, I was expected to become a member of the IAM. I’m very glad I was. Having been a member of IAM for several years now, I would urge anyone who drives to at least attend these meetings. The best thing for driving that I have EVER done was to attend these meetings and join the IAM. The benefits to driving skills and personal confidence, and….yes sanity while driving…ok – how to prevent stress, is in the content of these talks given by a serving member of the police … Continue reading →
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her Daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. ‘What are you doing?’ she asked. ‘I’m waiting for Justin to come home from work.’ The daughter-in-law answered. ‘ But you’re naked!’ the mother-in-law exclaimed. ‘This is my love dress,’ the daughter-in-law explained. ‘Love dress? But you’re naked!’ ‘Justin loves me to wear this dress,’ she explained. ‘Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly … Continue reading →
“Have you ever done anything in your life of particular merit?”, St. Peter asked. “Well, I can think of one thing”, the Scotsman replied. “On a trip to the outskirts of Glasgow , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I asked them to leave her alone but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the s – – t … Continue reading →
It is reported to have been listed in the Cornish Guardian. SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.. Call 01272-6420 and ask for Annie, I’ll be waiting….. My Photo is Here … Continue reading →
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable. A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty.. You’re crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking Continental,” was the reply. “We got a great … Continue reading →
Please share the following information with your friends. I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out before !!!!! I wash my hair in the shower and the shampoo runs down over my whole body. Printed very clearly on the label is the following warning: “FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY.” No WONDER I have been gaining weight!!! Well, I have got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start using Dish Washing Liquid instead. Its label reads, “DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.” Problem solved! If I don’t answer the phone . .. . I’ll be … Continue reading →
An email from david at David the Letterman.com came in passing on this little gem! Glad I wasn’t driving! “I had to go to Harrison this morning and saw this Coke truck sitting on the side of the road. When I got close to it I could see what was wrong and turned around to go make sure the driver was OK; he was fine. I told him he should get a medal for keeping the truck on the road and not having a major accident. You’ll see why in one of the pictures. I guess he wanted a little … Continue reading →
A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, He floored it to 100mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing!” he thought as he flew down the M1, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. “I can get away from him – no problem!” thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 120mph,then 130mph then 140mph Suddenly, he thought, “What on … Continue reading →
This came in as an email to me and I just thought it was a good point to pass on. Read to the end… “Be kind, for everyone you meet is engaged in a great struggle.” Philo of Alexandria This dog was born on Christmas Eve in the year 2002. He was born with 2 legs – He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him. His first owner also did not think that he could survive and he was thinking of ‘putting him to sleep’. But then, his present owner, Jude … Continue reading →
A most heartwarming story—beats the heck out of murders, politics and terrorists!!! She’s a gray speckled pony who was abandoned by her owners when Hurricane Katrina hit southern Louisiana . She spent weeks on her own before finally being rescued and taken to a farm where abandoned animals were stockpiled. While there, she was attacked by a dog and almost died. Her gnawed right front leg became infected, and her vet went to LSU for help, but LSU was overwhelmed, and this pony was a welfare case. You know how that goes. But after surgeon Rustin Moore met Molly, he … Continue reading →
I received an email with this information… The number of times we see people using a mobile while driving….ridiculous when you see what COULD happen as a result More who see this the better. Her last call was from a new mobile phone… Can you see the motorcycle? The Honda crotch rocket rider was traveling at approximately 85 mph. The VW driver was talking on a cell phone when she pulled out from a side street, apparently not seeing the motorcycle. The rider’s reaction time was not sufficient enough to avoid this accident. The car had two passenger and the … Continue reading →
Some time ago I applied to drive for an excellent company, Unicorn Courtesy Cars. One stipulation was that I take the Advanced Motorist test. The IAM Organisation offers advanced training to motorists and motorcyclists. In the South Dorset area we have meetings available twice a year to show prospective candidates what is involved and what would be expected. These meetings are in spring and autumn and dates can be checked with the Dorset IAM website. ANY young driver should take this test, it’s well worth it. In fact ALL drivers SHOULD take the test. There are MANY advantages and none … Continue reading →
First off – we want to thank ALL the guys who have helped us out on this project. It was not a big project by any means to them I suspect, but it has been a big deal for us! Although we were prepared for the work and had planned it for some while, it still seemed that the house had us “in its grip” – still has a bit even now while we batten down the hatches and get sorted out!! Every one of the people involved have been an absolute delight and fun to have in the house! … Continue reading →
Over the past few months I have probably forwarded some inappropriate pictures and jokes to friends who I thought shared the same sense of humour.. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case and I seem to have upset quite a few people who have accused me of being sexist and shallow.. If you were one of these people, please accept my sincerest apologies. Looking to 2012 onward, I will only post or send e-mail with a cultural or educational content such as old monuments, nature and other interesting topics. Below is a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris . It … Continue reading →
THANK you for this video – as long as it stays online!!
Continue reading →Thank you Stephen Marshall for a good chuckle this morning!! To meet Stephen check out his Facebook Profile here. When you have an ‘I Hate My Job’ day [Even if you’re retired, you sometimes have those days] Try this out: Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the … Continue reading →
This post got lost on this site recently so I just wanted to add it back!!
Continue reading →I went to the doctor for a physical. The nurse started with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asked. “150,” I said. The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 200. The nurse asked, “Your height?” “6 foot 1,” I said. The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5′ 11″ She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high. “Of course it’s high!” I screamed, ‘When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!” She put me on Prozac. What … Continue reading →
They say if you email this to ten people, you stand a chance of saving at least one life. Will you send this along? Blood Clots/Stroke – They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue Remember the 1st Three Letters……S. T. R. STROKE IDENTIFICATION: During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall – she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) ….she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken … Continue reading →
The brand NEW version of A to Z Illusions is now LIVE!! Fantastic, fast acting Word Creation app created by Chris Collins who has also done other great work for Finding the Time Web Design. Full shop listing now included with some items available here in UK!! UK pound, Canadian and US Dollars, as well as Euros catered for. UK and Europe items sent from UK
Continue reading →Watch out for the pillar lads!!
Continue reading →Dear Fish Fighters, I’m writing with some BIG news from the Fish Fight campaign! A huge thank-you to all of you who emailed your MP and asked them to sign Zac Goldsmith’s Fish Fight Early Day Motion. As a result of all your effort it has just been announced that THIS WEEK there is going to be a DEBATE in the HOUSE OF COMMONS on discards, Fish Fight, and CFP reform. It’s going to take place on Thursday 11th May between 3pm and 6pm. This is a great result, and proof that people power really works. Because of the pressure … Continue reading →
Can someone bring the driver a shot of “Jack Daniels” and a pair of clean shorts? Good “Road-Hugging” Tyre! This is when the thought, “Don’t MOVE!” comes to mind!
Continue reading →Have you heard this lot before?? Probably, but they could still raise a chuckle…. These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you … Continue reading →
This is a genuine complaint to Devon & Cornwall Police Force from an angry member of the public A true email sent to the force, lengthy but brilliantly written…… Dear Sir/Madam/Automated telephone answering service, Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Bodmin police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Bodmin, by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board. As I’m writing this e-mail there are eleven failed … Continue reading →