“Have you ever done anything in your life of particular merit?”, St. Peter asked.
“Well, I can think of one thing”, the Scotsman replied.
“On a trip to the outskirts of Glasgow , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I asked them to leave her alone but they wouldn’t listen.
So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the s – – t out of all of you!’ ”
St. Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?”
“A couple of minutes ago.”