The Love Dress.
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her Daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.
Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked.
‘I’m waiting for Justin to come home from work.’ The daughter-in-law answered.
‘ But you’re naked!’ the mother-in-law exclaimed.
‘This is my love dress,’ the daughter-in-law explained.
‘Love dress? But you’re naked!’
‘Justin loves me to wear this dress,’ she explained.
‘Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.’
The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
‘What are you doing?’ he asked.
‘This is my love dress,’ she whispered, sensually.
‘Needs ironing,’ he said, ‘What’s for dinner?’
A Scotsman appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
“Have you ever done anything in your life of particular merit?”, St. Peter asked.
“Well, I can think of one thing”, the Scotsman replied.
“On a trip to the outskirts of Glasgow , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I asked them to leave her alone but they wouldn’t listen.
So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the s – - t out of all of you!’ ”
St. Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?”
“A couple of minutes ago.”
This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed
It is reported to have been listed in the Cornish Guardian.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I’m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.
Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me..
Call 01272-6420 and ask for Annie, I’ll be waiting…..
My Photo is Here
Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Truro RSPCA!
Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Truro RSPCA!
Negativity “Parable”
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade.
So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.
A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty.. You’re crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?”
“We’re taking Continental,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”
“Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?”
“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Teste.”
“Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”
“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”
“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. (After the last visit, I wondered why!!?) The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”
“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”
“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.”
“Oh, really! What’d he say ?”
He said: “Who f****d up your hair?”
THAT’S why she went back eh?? Go girl!!
Shampoo warning
Please share the following information with your friends. I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out before !!!!!
I wash my hair in the shower and the shampoo runs down over my whole body.
Printed very clearly on the label is the following warning:
“FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY.”
No WONDER I have been gaining weight!!!
Well, I have got rid of that shampoo and I am going to
start using Dish Washing Liquid instead.
Its label reads,
“DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.”
Problem solved! If I don’t answer the phone . .. . I’ll be in the shower!
